Zachary Peters

We are in chapter 6 now of the Sermon on the Mount, and Jesus is giving us some practical teaching on how we ought to perform certain normal acts of righteousness. Last week we talked about generosity, and this week — and probably next week — we have prayer. Many of the lessons from generosity also apply to prayer, not to give away any spoilers.

But the inside matters. The intention matters. Blessed are the pure in heart, Jesus told this crowd. And we are seeing why.

Matthew 6:5–8

5 “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. 6 But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

7 “And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

The last time I preached this, these first verses were two whole sermons by themselves. I have managed to make this into just one sermon. It is okay to be impressed. It is also okay not to be impressed, but keep that to yourself.

What Is Communication?

What is communication? It is the process of connecting with other living things through specific visual, physical, and verbal means. That is certainly not the Webster’s definition, but non-verbal communication is involved here, like body language, like smiling. There is a verbal communication that can be as simple as grunts, which is a favorite of mine. Verbal communication is often organized into what we call language, which has both verbal and written ways to communicate. We use all these communication tools to express ideas, feelings, thoughts, instructions, stories, history, and anything else. Communication is critically important to who we are and what we have as humans.

It is everything. It is how we get things done. Even God used communication to create existence. The word of God is often called the living word of God. It is how we share ideas and pass on knowledge. It is at the center of how we organize the world, and here is what I want us to think about today: communication is how we have relationships.

Every relationship we have is largely defined by how we communicate and the language we use in that communication. Think about how you communicate with your friends. There is an intentionality in talking to your friends. You have to put some effort into communicating to sustain a strong friendship. Think about how your parents communicate with you, and if you are a parent, how you communicate with your children. What goes into those processes that create a healthy relationship? I think the first thing that has to happen is that you actually have to talk in order for there to be a good relationship.

Without communication — and consistent communication at that — the most foundational relationships we have will fall apart at worst, and at best, they will not grow. And that is why I am not surprised that Jesus says, “When you pray,” and not “If you pray.”

Prayer is communication with God, and the assumption Jesus speaks with is that you will pray. Not praying means you are not communicating with the most important person in your life. That relationship, like any other relationship, will wither without talking.

Prayer, as we use that word here, is just talking to God. I have heard a lot of people say, “I really don’t know how to pray,” to which I reply, “Do you know how to talk to a friend or parent?” That simplifies the process for me. It is less daunting when prayer can be as simple as our equivalent of a quick text message. Of course, prayer can be more than that, but it is still that simple sometimes.

Before Jesus teaches us what to do, he shares two examples of what not to do.

Prayer Is Not for Looking Good

Here is what would happen in Jewish society in the time of Jesus. There were set times of prayer; sometimes, you were in the street or buying supplies when the time of prayer would happen. You stop what you were doing, and you offer your prayer. Then you move on with your day. It was just part of life. Now, some people learned to offer very loud prayers at the busiest spots for attention. They had figured out they might get a few pats on the back for their prayers. They missed the point of prayer and the point of relationship with God.

Let me make sure I’m clear here: praying in public or with other people is fine. You just have to be careful with your attitude, and your prayer should not be diluted by any other desire except to talk to God. I hope that makes sense. Jesus was not calling them hypocrites because of the prayer, but because of their hearts and the reason for the prayers.

Maybe to someone who is not used to church, this does not seem like a big deal. However, I can remember a few people who would stand up to pray, and it was almost like they just enjoyed hearing their own voice. It was a spectacle. That is where the danger is. (Not always the case — sometimes people get passionate and excited.) But these individuals, at some point, lost sight of the purpose of prayer.

It is almost like wanting to be seen talking to someone famous or influential — not because you enjoy talking to that person, but because being seen with them does something for your image. Prayer is direct communication with God, and it is better that you guard that communication against the danger of turning it into something it was never intended to be.

I think that is why Jesus tells us to pray in secret. Communication between God and us cannot be hijacked by our desire for positive attention and affirmation from others. Before you pray in public, talk to God in private. The strongest relationships are not nurtured at a party with other people all around. You can start a relationship in a group setting, but relational growth happens in one-on-one meetings.

My wife and I talk about things I will never talk about with anyone else. She is my closest relationship, and in moments no one else has access to, we communicate. It is a unique relationship. Jesus is inviting us to have that sort of relationship with God, and it starts in private spaces.

And like last week, we are offered a reward for this private and close communication with God. This is different from the reward of public appreciation. It is a reward that only God can give — like actually answered prayers. Take your feel-good moment of being appreciated by others, and give me an actually answered prayer that no one else even knows I prayed about. That is a spectacular reality about prayer.

If the heart is in the wrong place, communication will not produce a healthy relationship.

Do Not Use the Wrong Structure in Prayer

I think it is really cool that Jesus expresses this knowledge that God, the creator of everything, is listening to us. We do not have to get fancy when we talk to him, hoping that it somehow inspires him to hear us better. He is already listening, so just talk to him. He wants to hear from you.

Do not let the world dictate how prayer should be. Do not heap up empty phrases thinking there is some special key to accessing God. Prayer is not a math equation, and it is not some sort of magic requiring specialized language. Yes, Jesus is about to give us an example of a specific prayer, but it is broad and wide in application. It is a format for success.

Let me give some context to this warning and critique that Jesus gives about using “empty phrases.”

Other religions had repetition built into earning communication or favor with a god. If you were to walk into their fictional bookstores, there would be countless books about “getting Zeus’s attention” and instruction manuals for getting Athena to empower your spear. Do this and that, and maybe the gods send some rain for your crops.

In fact, in the Old Testament we see this. Elijah and the prophets of Baal on Mount Carmel is a story about specialized ritual versus a relational God. One group screams and dances to get Baal’s attention, and Elijah offers a short prayer.

Greek and Roman religions required you to earn favor by doing certain things. You were rewarded for giving or doing great things for the gods.

Maybe this all seems foreign to you. This was thousands of years ago. Why does this matter now? The reality is, it is easy for those attitudes to sneak into our prayer lives. If I pray like this, God will have to pay attention. I prayed like this one time, and God did exactly what I asked Him to do, so now this is the only way I pray. Maybe you did not pray, and something bad happened, and that presents issues as well. That is just not how God shows us He works.

Ultimately, one of the reasons we might fall victim to this problem with prayer is that we partially — or fully — view God like Santa. We only communicate when we want something, and we get let down when the gift we asked for is not under the tree. It is easy to do that. “God, I did everything by the book. I put forth the effort. I prayed the right way. So where is my gift?”

Did I not say all the right words? Did I not do all the right things?

Does God want good things for you? Yes — in fact, in the previous verses, Jesus tells us there is a reward for prayer, but what is the reward? Outside of gaining a better relationship, I do not know that it is always about what we receive. Prayer is not about what you can get from it, and there is no magic formula to getting God to respond to your prayers the way you want Him to respond.

For some people that might seem depressing, but only because we are so driven by the Santa-god mindset, or because in other areas of our lives we must fight for attention and affection. But it is not bad news that you cannot force God to hear you. It is not shocking news that you cannot learn a secret, sure-fire way to get God to give you good things. It is good that those things are not true, because it means God is already listening and willing to communicate right now — just as you are, right where you are. If I remember that God is not Santa, and that He is actively listening to me, it helps me avoid mistakes in my prayer life and in my understanding of God.

That protects me from superstition slipping into how I treat God.

He Knows What We Need

I have preached this before, but it is worth saying again. He knows what we need. Notice that it does not say, “He knows what we want.” I want my brother to still be here, but without radical healing he was looking at being in a wheelchair by his 30th birthday. I want my dad to be here, but the reality is, his health had declined rapidly over the span of a year or two, and it was not stopping. So what I want would have kept them in places of pain, fear, and discomfort.

What we need is different from what we want. Sometimes the needs are obvious, but we see life through a single lens that flattens everything out. God sees everything. It is like we live life in a flat picture on a piece of paper — we can see a whole lot in the picture, but it is from a single, fixed perspective. God sees the same picture as the one who draws it. That is a totally different perspective.

When we pray, be bold and ask for things, but know that God truly sees what you need and not just what you want. What you want right now might keep you from getting what you need later.

We will get to this next week as well, but when we pray, we should express trust in God’s will. When God does not seem to answer your specific prayers, learn to be content with His will, which might not include your wishes. And that is okay.

Closing

God is listening to you. God knows what you need. What great news! Even on your worst day, God is still listening for you, and He knows enough about your life — cares enough — to know what you need. Praise God for that.